1 Year Later - No Regrets

Hello friends-

I know it has been a long time since I have posted about my journey.  Yesterday marked one year from when I went under the knife to better align my physical and mental image after losing 115 pounds.  I have to say that this has been a long year filled with personal ups and downs, professional advances, family health crisis and much more.  All of those things have kept me busy enough not to post, but the reality of it is that there hasn't been much to post about regarding my transformation.  I've been hitting the gym pretty hard the last six months in an effort to gain some muscle that I lost while losing weight.  I have been pretty successful so far and starting to see result - even getting some compliments from those around me about muscle tone.  That make me very excited to push harder!

My body has long healed and settling into its new tighter mid-section.  I still have not completely regained the feeling in the nerves around the incision and belly button.  I feel pressure, but exact feeling is still missing.  I hear it can take a long time for the nerves to reconnect and some don't come back at all.  My back and flanks where they did some lipo still gets tender at times.  I've had a few massages since surgery and tend to notice that tenderness most then.  Almost feels like needles when the pressure is.

Posting a few pictures below (no jokes about how pasty white I am, please).  You can see the the incision line is healing up nicely.  It's slowly starting to fade away.  I used to think it would take forever, but now I don't even seem to notice it.

At the end of the day, a year later...I have no regrets!  Having this surgery has changed my life and allowed me to finally feel a sense of accomplishment in my transformation.  I couldn't have done it without the help of my friends and family.  You all have been so wonderful!  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now, let's see what 2016 has in store!

SWELL HELL!

Things have been fairly uneventful around here lately.  I had to make  last minute trip to Las Vegas to support a large project and it was the first time I really put my body to the test.  Being on my feet for 15hrs a day covering 8+ miles a day put a big strain on the ole tummy area.  Mostly in the form of swelling.  It got so bad that I actually started feeling uncomfortable - the same feeling you get when you eat way too much. Again, the swelling is part of the healing process.  Just frustrating.

I'm back in the gym again 3-4 times a week.  Mostly focused on lifting to gain muscle.  I friend of mine told me about an app called "Strong Lifts 5X5" which I've really enjoyed using so far.  It starts you at low weight, 5 sets of 5 reps.  Has really helped me get back into it, re-establish technique/form and let my body get used to it again.  Keeps me very excited about getting into the gym.

The hardest part of lifting to build muscle is eating. Someone of my height/weight/activity level should consume around 2800 calories a day!  WHOA!  That's a lot of calories when eating clean.  Trying to get enough protein in my body to help build the muscle is a full time job.  Anyone have any thoughts or tips on how to make this happen?

Finally - I bought a Jawbone UP 24.  I love it!  So much better than the Fitbit...at least for me.  The app is slick, the device itself it easier to wear and keeps me motivated to get up and move.  My office has started a Fit Challenge and many people have purchased these things to help keep track of steps, calories, etc.  I highly recommend it to anyone interested it staying motivated.

Overall I am still very pleased with the results and have no regrets!  Thank you to everyone that has supported me through this journey, to those who have joined me and to those that will continue to follow me - you are very appreciated!

Week 7 - Green Light

This week marks 7 weeks since my surgery!  I haven't posted in a while because I've been in a fairly mundane routine. Work has been great!  I've become more active - going on brisk walks on the trail and on the treadmill.  All trying to ease my way back into a routine so as soon my the doctor clears me for activity I can hit the ground running...literally.

This week I met with my surgeon for the first time since my drains came out.  It was a short check up but a couple of things happened during the check up:

1. Green light for all activity - working out included
2. Ditch the abdominal binder

He was very pleased with the preliminary results and had no concerns at this point.  He set my next appointment for the six month mark.  At that time I will take my first set of before and after photos. Looking forward tot that.

So I left the appointment feeling good.  Accomplished.  Happy. And without my abdominal binder.  The rest of the day was good.  A little uncomfortable being without constriction around my waist, but knowing it was time.  Feeling blood flow through areas that have been constricted 24hrs a day/7days a week is painful.

Today was my first full day without the binder.  Man oh man was I in for a rude awakening.  The pain feels similar to having a bad sunburn...when you sit against that sunburn and then stand up quickly.  Uncomfortable.  And the swelling....damn it.  I know it's part of the process, but man it is a mind f@$#!  The binder keeps swelling down, but isn't meant to be worn forever.  The body has to heal itself and being able to control swelling is part of that. So I've officially entered what is commonly known as "Swell Hell"....estimated time to deal with random swelling: UP TO 6 MONTHS!  Ugh....

To end on a positive note:  all of my clothes are fitting amazingly well.  Exactly how I've always envisioned them fitting! It really makes going to my closet a much more enjoyable experience.

Below is a 7 week post op photo.  This photo was taken on Monday before the ab binder was removed from my daily wear, but gives a good view of what things are looking like!

Week 4 - Back to the Office

Today is 4 weeks post-op! On Saturday I finally got that second pesky drain removed.  Much more painful than the first one, but after being in my body for 26 days it was to be expected.  It was a very liberating moment though! My doctor said everything is looking fantastic!

Today was my first day back in the office after 4 weeks.  I was very excited to be back around my peers, my team and the excitement of a new year.  I may have been a little too excited and was all over the office.  Went to lunch with a colleague.  Made my rounds.  By 3pm I was feeling the pressure in my abdomen.  Getting home and getting into comfortable clothes revealed some swelling had returned.  This is to be expected as I haven't been overly active until this point.  Just a part of the process that I have to put in the right place to not let it get me down.

I go back to see my doctor in 3 weeks.  Hopefully will be cleared to get back into the gym!  I miss it. I miss being active.  I know I will have to ease back into it, but I sure am ready!

Here are a few pictures from week 4!

3 Week Post Op Photo Update

I am excited to share some photos!  I took my binder off to take a shower to reveal that the swelling has gone done a little more!  It's really starting to show how the changes are settling. :)

 And just in case you forgot what I looked like...below you will see the night before surgery photo on the left and the one I just took on the right.  WOW!!!!

Obviously you can see there its still some bruising and swelling....but SO much better!

Mental Fortitude

Tomorrow marks 3 weeks from surgery!  I see improvement with each passing day, but the improvements are small. Some days are even a small step backwards.  I have to keep reminding myself that the recovery process is long.  I may not see final results for 3 to 6 months.  Seems like a lifetime.

None of my clothes fit right now because I'm still swollen.  THAT is a tough pill to swallow right now.  The thought is that skin/fat is removed and that you should be smaller than before surgery.  The reality is quit the contrary.  It takes strong mental fortitude and patience to not get bogged down in numbers this early on. Stay the course.  The other disappointing part...I still have one drain in.  The numbers are inconsistent at this point.  Frustrations with the continue.

Good news:  I am getting stronger and more mobile by the day.  I am sleeping in my bed again, which was a huge step in my book! On the other hand I feel very lethargic.  I can't work out yet, besides minimal walking.  I haven't been eating poorly, but the lack of basic exercise makes me feel like a lump!  HA.  I know, I know...all in due time.

I appreciate everyones continued support!  I'm getting there. :)

Going Bonkers!

Wow!  Time has been flying by for the most part. I have to say that I am starting to get cabin fever after being cooped up for 2 weeks.  I've gotten out of the the house a couple of times, and today I actually drove myself to the grocery store (with doctor approval)!  That felt amazing...to know I am gaining mobility! Other than that I'm tired of sleeping in this recliner.  I tried sleeping in my bed last night...I lasted about 4 hours (mostly restless napping) before I moved back to the recliner.  The pressure of laying on my sides made me a little nauseous. I'm sure some of it is mental. Maybe one more week in the chair will be enough to make me feel better about it.  Huge thank you to Rosemary for hooking me up with the recliner!  I can't imagine this recovery without it.


Yesterday I have a two week follow up with my surgeon.  He removed my belly button stitches, which still doesn't really look like a belly button to me.  The swelling around it is still pretty extensive.  It's rock hard, and not in the "rocking a six pack" kind of way.  Hardcore swelling means rock hard fluid build up.  Speaking of swelling..the swelling on my hips and legs has gone down quite a bit, which makes me very happy!  The doctor said I am healing very quickly and was impressed with how far I've come in a short time.  I have to continue to massage the areas that are hard/swollen to help dissolve some of the fluid build up.  The downside - the second drain has to stay in for a little longer, which was a bummer.  It has to drain around 20cc's a day for two day before he will remove it.  Right now I am averaging around 50cc's a day.  It's annoying but I also don't want to rush removing it...more frustrating than anything else.

How is the pain after 14 days you ask?  Actually - I would rate it a 1 out of 10 right now.  I'm just really sore.  Like I did 10,000 crunches.  Bruising on my back and sides still looks pretty bad and is very tender, but I have to keep massaging it as much as possible.

Overall I feel pretty good at the end of week 2.  I have no regrets so far.  I know that once I heal and the swelling goes down I am going to be very happy with the results!

1st Week Survival

I survived the first week without extra skin!  WOOO HOOO.  This week has been filled with ups and down....both emotionally and psychically. Every day that passes brings a little less pain, a little more mobility, and one day closer to seeing results.

I had a realization the other day.  I booked this surgery 3 months in advance in order to hold the date during a busy time for the surgeon, but a slow time in my office.  Now that the surgery is over I have to wait 2-3 months to see real results.  (Side note:  it can take up to 3 months for swelling and bruising to subside).  I had a countdown on my phone to show how many days I had until surgery, which kept me excited and motivated.  Now there is frustration that I have another waiting period to see how this is going to play out.  As I had this realization I felt pretty down about it.  More waiting...great.

Then a friend of mine gave me some great words of encouragement.  He told me to look back at where I came from.  Look at the amount of work, dedication, and sweat I put in to getting to this point.  No matter what the outcome is of the results be proud knowing that I have created opportunity to do everything that I have set out to do.  WOW!  His words gave me a new outlook.  Thank you JLW!

Yesterday I had one of the drains removed.  Once the drains start showing lower numbers there get removed.  well, the one on the left side was ready to come out.  The process is pretty simple and I read enough about it that I was prepared for the worst (as usual).  The nurse sniped the stitch holding the tube in place where it entered my side, which is at the end of the incision line.  The she said "here comes the fun part"...wait, what?  Fun for who?!?!  She start pulling for what felt like forever.  It was the strangest/grossest feeling.  I could feel the tube sliding under my skin - between the skin and muscle.  CREEPY.  What I didn't know is that the tubes under my skin are actually about 8 inches long!  WHOA! Check that off the list.

Good news - on Saturday I go back to get the other drain out!  Also, they will remove the stitches in my new belly button. It's actually starting to look like a belly button.  :)

Next blog post - GOING STIR CRAZY!

Drainage & Swelling

Time flies when you're...sleeping! Tomorrow marks 7 days since my surgery.  WOW!  What happen to this week?  Oh, right.  I slept the first 3 days straight.  Honestly, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.  Sleeping has allowed my body to make huge leaps in healing.  I'm so thankful for that.

The pain was uncomfortable for the first few days, but not unbearable.  I started coming down from the pain meds after day 3.  I am now down to just a couple a day balanced with Tylenol.  Couldn't be happier about that.  I have overall be surprised and that the pain hasn't been more.  I expected the worst, but landed somewhere below the middle of those expectations.  I have a high tolerance to pain, so thank you to my genetic make up! Right now, my pain is at about a 3 out of 10.  :)

Tomorrow I should get one of the 2 drains out.  The other one plus the stitches in my new belly button will come out at the end of the week.  These drains have been one of my biggest complaints.  I have to empty the bulbs every 4 hours and record how much as come out of me.  This is actually really gross.  The sites where they enter my belly are sore and tender.  Every time the drain tube moves it hurts the entry site.  I can feel the tubes under my skin and it sometimes shoots sharp pains across my belly.   Having them taken out is something I'm so ready for, yet dreading because I'm sure it's going to hurt.

Now let's talk about swelling.  Swelling across my belly where the incision was made has little swelling and is healing nicely.  The doctor did a great job with it.  The swelling and bruising on my hips and flanks where he did some lipo is out of control!  From the middle of my back to the top of my buttocks, and then from the top of my hips down to the middle of my hamstring is dark purple and VERY swollen.  I feel like I have birthing hips!  UGH.  I know this is natural and will go away with time, but the mental frustration is rough.

Positive notes: my appetite is coming back, I'm moving around much easier, almost able to stand completely straight (about another 10% to go), not needing pain meds as much, being able to do things on my own!

My motto = One day at a time!

Big thank you to everyone that has helped this past week.  Whether it was stopping by, texting, Facebook, phone call, prayers and thoughts.


HUGE appreciation to Rosemary and Jeanette who have been around all week for anything that I've needed.  I definitely could not have done this without these two amazing friends.  Much love!

Post Surgery - First 4 Days

Ok folks!  I'm back....for now.  I've been pretty doped up on pain meds and have been sleeping most of the first few days.  Only waking up to take more meds, measure fluid in my two drains and grab a small bite to eat.

I am happy to say that everything went very well on Monday.  I wasn't too nervous and it all happened so quickly that before I knew it I was waking up from a 3.5hr procedure.  CRAZY!

I wanted to share a few pics from the day of (most of which ended up on Facebook anyway).

Here I am in the fancy surgical gown.  They are so different now...they can actually hook you up to an internal cooling/heating system with this gown!  WOW

The nurse came in asked a bunch of questions and got my IV started.  I met the Operating Nurse who was super sweet.  She had been through the same procedure due to weight loss as well.  It was an immediate bond and I knew I was in good hands.  she lost about 200lbs! WOW.  As you can see the pre-op bed they had for me was a little short! HA.

The Doctor came into the room about 30 minutes before surgery to make some markings on me with a sharpie.  He must have taken years of art in med school!  :).
 As you can see below everything from the horizontal line down was taken out!  CRAZY.  I didn't get pictures of my back which is where most of the lipo was going to happen.  Doc also told me that my belly button was not centered.  WHAT?!?!  32 years of life with an off center belly button???  Thank God he fixed that...how embarrassing!  :)

The nurse and anesthesiologist wheeled me down to the OR and got me moved over to the operating table which had a warmer in it.  Felt very nice.  The nurse asked me if I could center myself on the table.  She said it was really important so that I came out all "straight" and stuff.  OH MAN!  So many jokes I could have made, but I left it alone. Put the oxygen mask on my face and I was OUT.


Here I am waking up from surgery.

Coming out of anesthesia was a breeze.  No nausea.  No sickness.  Nothing. The only real pain I had at the moment was a stomach ache.  Nurse gave me more drugs and told me as soon as I could get up and go urinate I could go home.  Was about an hour later that I was on my way home.  A little nausea along the way, but once I got home an in my chair I was good to go.  The next 24 hours was me sleeping, taking drugs, sleeping, taking drugs.  I had the absolute best friends taking care of me!

I had a post-op appointment the follow day, which also went well. (More later in a different post).

I'm starting to come off the pain meds now, which is pretty cool for only being 4 days out of surgery. Lots of swelling of course.  Lots of tingly, itchy sensations across my belly.

All-in-all, I'm doing MUCH better that I was expecting to be at this point.  SO GO ME!

Last phew photos of general incision lines and bruising.  Scroll at your own risk.

COURAGE

Ok folks....continue at your own risk.

Seriously stop reading now if you don't want to see me half naked....ok, fine.  It's just my belly but note that you have been warned.  I told you (a few entries ago) I would have the courage to post before pictures before my surgery so here it goes! And remember what yo mamma told you - if you ain't got something nice to say...don't say a damn thing at all. HA!

Below is the result of swelling to over 300lbs causing the skin to stretch and expand then losing 115lbs quickly.  As you can see my skin is saggy, droopy. A badge of honor some would say. To me is a mark of the past.

In about 15 hours I will head to the surgery center to start the process of changing the way this looks. More importantly I start the process of changing the way I (ME) see it.s  This surgery is about me.  It's not about what others think of me.  I am proud to say I have put in hard work to get to this point and now I am ready to have my mental image match my physical image.  In the beginning it felt like vanity, but now I realize it not vanity at all.  It's self esteem.  It's about feeling good about myself.  It's about self actualization by achieving your goals and working hard to get what you want in life.  That's what I've done.  I deserve it.

The next 15 hours will be tough, but it's worth the life time of happiness that comes with it.  Of course I am concerned about the pain, but it's only temporary.  The scars will fade, but the change will last forever.

Next blog entry will be POST surgery.  My emotions are all over the place, but alas the time is here.

Signed, Sealed and ALMOST Delivered

So yesterday was Pre-Op appointment with my surgeon.  Which marked my two week countdown (actually is was 13 days) to my surgery.  I got there early in true fashion.  The patient coordinator came and chatted with me.  She is a very enthusiastic and excited woman, which was nice to see during such an anxious time.  The nurse came and took me to the exam room to review the pre-op logistics, which I will get to in a moment.

The interesting part about this appointment is my expectations.  Mentally I went in thinking that I have no expectations.  When I left feeling a little disappointed I realized that I need to get a handle on my expectations.  What I experienced was a well oiled machine of an office.  An office that does this type of surgery regularly and without hesitation. BUT....in my head it seemed robotic, which made it feel impersonal.  After many conversations with my friends and family, I know they were doing their job.  I know they are taking care of me.  I don't need a hug from them - I need them to do their job well.  :)

Back to the logistics.

The nurse walked me thru a laundry list of "Dos & Don's" for the next two weeks.  Most of which I already knew from my extensive research and planning.  The list of medications and CAN'T take is 3 pages long - all because they are blood thinners and that's not a good thing pre, during or post surgery.  Also, no alcohol starting a week before!  I get it...no blood thinning activities.

I had to read and sign several consent forms, nothing too scary.

The doctor came in and reviewed the surgery list with me.  He had me take my surgery off and talked me through exactly what he planned to do.  GUESS WHAT...I get a new belly button out of this.  Yup, that's right folks. A flashy new belly button. Wait, is that weird?? Who cares I'm excited.  He took some photos for the infamous before/after photos and asked if I had any other questions.  I said yes and grabbed my phone where I had been making my list.  He just chuckled and answered everything.  I finished up and went to visit the financial accountant where I paid my "tab" in full!  YIKES, that made it very real.  No turning back now.

Finally I chatted with the Patience Coordinator to get my reporting instructions. December 15th I must arrive at the surgery center at 5:30am....WHAT?  Did she say AM?  Gesh.  Ok, fine.  I will be there as I probably won't sleep the night before.  Surgery will last 3.5 to 4 hours and will go home a couple hours after I am awake.  CRAZY!

So, I am signed, sealed (paid) and almost delivered....11 days and 18 hours until surgery!

Time to start checking my other lists and finalizing my shopping.

Racing Mind

Over thinking.  Over analyzing. Worrying. Anxious.

These are the current themes racing through my head.  I can't turn it off.  I try to turn it down by occupying my time with other things, but it all leads back to preparation.  I'm probably doing too much.  I'm probably causing stress on my body that I shouldn't...not sure what else to do.

Question - what are your favorite TV shows that you think I would like?  I need to set my TV line up for 2 weeks of recovery time.

I am so thankful for my friends and family.  Everyone has been very supportive and have offered to help with anything that I need during recovery.  It's overwhelming.  I'm sure everyone is also tired of hearing about all of this.

15 days....

One Week to Pre Op Appointment

Time is flying by.  It's crazy to think that this time next week I will be heading to my Pre-Op appointment with my surgeon!  So many thoughts.  So many feelings.  I can say that right now my feelings are mostly anxious ones.  I'm not scared or worried....just anxious.  Impatiently waiting.  Making lots of lists to help occupy my time!

I am also trying to manage my own internal expectations of the surgery outcome.  I have no idea what to expect, but I don't want to  build false hope to some mental image I've created.  So...I'm doing a lot of self checking!  Gotta keep my mind right!

I also started a 30 Day Plank Challenge to build up my core muscles.  I've read that having a strong core helps with recovery time because the body will be using all muscle to maintain post op.  So this what I am doing.  I am currently at day 10.  Definitely feeling a difference.  Good stuff!

19 Days......

Opinions are like....

Opinions are like.....well, they're like whatever you want to think they're like.  As I have been telling people about my surgery there has been mixed reactions and opinions.  Most have been positive, supportive and some question why and I get to tell my weight loss story.  One of the most frustrating reactions I've experienced this week is those that want to share their own experience.  Sounds counter intuitive right?  The problem is that everyone that I've talked to that has been through this procedure only wants to share how painful the recovery was for them.  How I am going to be in so much pain and that it will be just plain awful.

How is that helpful to me?  For the most part I've just been playing it off.  Internally I am actually starting to prepare for the absolute worse!  At least if it ends up not being as bad I will be surprised.  Either way I plan to take my prescribed meds on schedule and as dictated by my doctor.  I have a high tolerance to pain, but I ain't no fool!  :)

22 days until surgery!

To the YouTube!

I got caught up in the internet last night.  YouTube to be specific.  As my surgery date countdown decreases in numbers  the amount of time thinking about it increases.  I started watching videos of people preparing for and recovering from the same surgery I will be having.  What I find interesting (yet not a surprise) is how every person has a different experience.  Some experience the worst pain ever -"worse than child birth", while some stop taking the pain medication two days after and start taking over the counter stuff.  I tend to think I have a high pain tolerance and want to believe that my recovery will be less painful than most.....BUT, I am preparing for the worst. The interesting part is that my tolerance to prescription pain medication is very low.  So I'm sure what ever they give me will keep me in a daze!

I watched some pretty good video's last night.  I refuse to watch actual footage of a surgery.  It reminds me of when I prepare for a half marathon.  I never look at the course elevation/map.  I want to physically and mentally prepare for the race, but actually seeing what I am in for scares the crap out of me! Same applies with this surgery...I don't want to see what's going to happen.  I want to go to sleep and wake up with it done!

Everyone has been super supportive so far.  All of my friends have been asking about how I am feeling and offering help post-op.  As hard as it is for me to accept help...the one consistent message I have read and watching about recovery is to let others help you.  So - consider this an open acceptance of any help my friends want to give and a HUGE thank you in advance.

The fact that my friends came together and donated almost $2,000 to help fund this life changing event is a reflection of the amazing people that surround me.  Words cannot explain my gratitude.  Emotions can't show how thankful I am.  I am truly blessed.

27 Days until surgery!

30 Days!

Today marks the one month countdown to surgery.  30 days...30 LONG DAYS!  The next phase of my journey beings in 30 days.  Today I am picking up my "recovery ship"AKA a recliner that I will spend my time in post surgery.  Starting to get very real!  I've also started my shopping list for things I will need post-op.  Trying to be as prepared as possible so that I don't have to get my friends to run around for me.  I'm sure I will forget something, but getting the basics will be important.  I'll be posting my list in the weeks to come!

Someone I can relate to

Someone shared an amazing video with me yesterday that I related to (for the most part) and have to share!

What an incredible transformation!  He makes some powerful statements in this video...I have watched several times and get something new with each view.  To go from being embarrassed of being overweight to embarrassment of extra skin is not what you envision when you decide to get your life in order and shed some extra pounds.  For over 2 years know I have been pleased with the amount of weight I lost (over 100lbs), but have grown increasingly frustrated with the way my body looks now.  John's confidence is inspiring - he accepts his skin as a badge of his journey!  Something I wish was an easy thing to step into.  What an incredible man!

Check out his YouTube channel and Instagram below.

Obese to Beast :
https://www.youtube.com/user/ObesetoBeast/featured
http://instagram.com/obese_to_beast

To photo or not to photo....

Obviously I will be taking some before photo's for the infamous before/after shot, but I've been struggling with how I could possible share that with people.  Even though I have had great success with dieting I still have body image issues.  Even knowing that starting in December those body images will be reduced exponentially - I still look in the mirror and see 315 lbs.  My goal is to get some good before photos to share on my blog and not be ashamed of it.  It's the result of a lot of hard work, sweat and determination.  Challenge accepted! (wait, did I just accept my own challenge?)

I recently got pulled into a conversation about having a roommate and how difficult that must be to not be able to run around naked. This is never been an issue for me as being naked has not been a comfortable experience for me. I even take my clothes with me to the shower (my closet is in my bathroom) which means I get dressed as soon as I dry off.  I don't find this odd - but apparently it was a topic of conversation for over an hour. It led to "Will you want to be naked more (or shirtless) after your surgery?" The answer....I HAVE NO IDEA!  My hope is that I will feel more comfortable with my body.  Only one way to know...check back with me post surgery!  :)

33 Days until surgery!

Frustration

With each day that passes I become more and more frustrated with my body.  I think I have finally realized that my frustration is knowing that in December this excess skin is going away, but having to wait (very impatiently) for it to happen. Every time I get dressed, take a shower or look in the mirror all I see is this "stuff" around my body that taunts me. One day at a time.

In other news I've been doing a lot of reading about post surgery tips and recovery tricks.  One of the big things I've read about is the importance of body position while recovering.  So many people have written about having a comfortable recliner or Lazy Boy.  This creates the optimal position for healing since being flat in a bed causes too much stretching on the incision line. So I've started asking around to see who may have one I can borrow one from.  Good news: I may have found one!

Positive note: this week someone made a $500 anonymous donation to the GoFundMe site my friend set up!  Beyond words. My heart continues to be filled up by the selfless-ness of the people in my life.  Completely grateful and honored.

44 days until surgery!